"......so what I'm arguing against is the shame that's associated with desires. It's the idea that if you love your husband or wife but you still are attracted to other people, there's something wrong with you, there's something wrong with your marriage, something wrong with your partner. I think a lot of families are fractured by unrealistic expectations that are based upon this false vision of human sexuality. That's what I'm trying to get at."
这是好友介绍给我的TED talk,"主讲人是Sex at Dawn这本书的作者之一,这本书的主旨就是人类并不是自古以来就monogamous的,渴望和伴侣之外的人做爱或谈恋爱是很自然的现象。"
我现在开始看Sex at Dawn这本书了。
中间有一些事情我没有update,关于把这件事告诉我老公,还有跟那家伙关系冷淡下来。。。
关键不是我与那家伙怎么样啦。其实现在这个crush已经基本肯定结束了(我很高兴),见不见面已经无所谓。但同时我可以肯定将来还会遇到让我动心的人,就不一定是会通过网络了。这件事对于我的意义在于,承认了“you love your husband but you still are attracted to other people”这是一个不得不面对的现实。以前我是信仰monogamy的,但现在已经不是了。这件事改变了我。结婚这么多年才遇到这个问题,我觉得已经算很晚了把。