近日读到这些觉得有收益，故拿出来与各位豁达mm共享。
Sex doesn't start with a hard penis and an aching vagina. It starts when
two pair of eyes meet and two hearts speak to each other in the flow of
emotion between them. It starts when the woman wants to melt into the man,
and the man wants to be filled with the fire that begins to burn in the
woman. It starts when the woman wants everything inside her to be aroused
and energized and turned into pure pleasure as the expression of her
womanliness. It starts when the man understand that and decides to respond
to her desire and to help her fulfill it. Anything else is empty and
meaningless to the woman, more like rape than love-making. When the man
understands that, nothing is more wonderful than the sexual experience he
has with that woman.
But the man must know, must learn, how to respond to the woman. Over a
period of time, she must teach him, lead him, guide him. The man must learn
how to respond to her as she becomes more and more aroused and full of
desire. He must learn to recognize her responses and what they mean. He
must learn what she wants, when she wants it, and how she wants it. He must
learn to be tuned in to her body and her heart. She must help him each step
of the way. You can think of it as a matter of the man worshipping the
woman, adoring her womanliness, arousing every emotion and feeling and
pleasure so that it fills her body and overflows into him. Technique limits
arousal. It's not what the man does that is important, but rather how and
when he responds to the woman and her needs and desires at each moment.
Arousal must build up and intensify inside the woman in response to the
man's interaction with her. It's not what the man does, but rather what
happens inside the woman, what fills her and brings her more and more
satisfaction and pleasure as a woman. Wonderful orgasms are merely the
result of that, the culmination of everything that is wonderful in the
woman. They should never be the goal.
I said orgasms and I meant plural, for every woman is capable of multiple
orgasms and will naturally experience them if she is genuinely aroused and
allowed to build up that arousal. The man does not give the woman orgasms
-- they are the natural result of that buildup, part of her nature as a
woman. And the man needs to learn to enjoy the woman's orgasms, as well as
the buildup of her arousal. Without that, a man's orgasm is empty and
humanly meaningless -- it's just a strong sensation that soon dies and is
forgotten.
In order to teach a man, you must know yourself, what your heart and body
want and need. You have your own unique way of arousal and buildup of
desire and emotion and pleasure. It's a part of you and it comes from
within you. It's more than mere physical sensation. It's the expression
and intensification of everything womanly in you. But your awareness is
mainly of physical things -- even though satisfaction and fulfillment are a
lot more than merely physical things to you. Your body is unique because it
likes some things and doesn't like others. It likes some things at one
stage of arousal and other things at other stages. For example, biting your
earlobes might be terribly pleasurable and arousing early on, but not later,
or vice versa. Something can be very irritating at one stage and very
exciting and desirous at some other stage. You need to learn to listen to
your body and what it wants and needs, when it wants and needs it. And you
need to be patient and allow arousal to buildup, and not rush to a climax.
The woman in you needs time to be aroused and to be fulfilled. (And you
must never allow the man to hurry.)
Another example. The sensitivity and desires of your breasts might change
as you become more aroused. What do they like first? Next? Next? What
irritates them and when? What happens when you begin to feel it in your
uterus when your breasts are touched? What does your body want then? What
happens if you start to become wet down below while your breasts are being
pleasured? Do you want eye contact when your breasts are being aroused?
When? How do you let the man know what your breasts want without talking?
How do you let him know that you don't want something at that time, or ever?
Do you have clear signals that he knows and understands?
Another example. When you get all wet down below, it means that your body
is ready for penetration -- but that does not mean that it must happen then.
Physical readiness is not the most important kind of readiness. But you
will respond to it and it is necesaary for the man to understand that
response and to respond to it in the way that you want him to. (You must
also understand that that wetness means that penetration is okay to the man,
and unless you teach him otherwise, he will want to penetrate you as soon as
he feels that wetness. A woman's wetness is perhaps the most exciting thing
for a man -- it brings out his animal nature, which must be suppressed.)
Do you want to be wet before he touches you there, or vice versa? Where are
you most sensitive down there? Your labia? Your clitoris? Inside your
vagina? Does the sensitivity of those parts change as you become more
aroused? Is there some order in which you want the man to touch them? Is
his finger better? Is licking better? (In the case of all three of those
parts.) What sends waves of pleasure through your body? What makes you
want more? What irritates you and when? What brings on an orgasm easiest?
What brings on the strongest orgasm? What brings on multiple orgasms? How
do you keep him from penetrating you before you have had enough orgasms and
want to experience his orgasm along with one of your own?
One more thing. Most men can become very hard very easily. But for most
men there is a point at which continued hardness becomes very painful, and
it can only be relieved by ejaculation. This is why the man must focus on
you and not on his penis. It is also why you should not play with his penis
to much. The man will probably not admit to the pain, but if it becomes
unbearable, he will penetrate you whether you want it then or not, and he
may hurt you.
Well, I guess I've given you a lot to think about. But the most important
thing is to get to know yourself as a woman, as a sexual being. When you
lie in bed at night, listen to your heart and your body. Let them tell you
what they want and need. Don't be afraid to fantasize and caress yourself.
Let your body teach you what it wants and needs. Learn to let pleasure flow
and build up in your body. Learn to enjoy the process of arousal. Find out
all the ways in which you can reach orgasm. Remember that an orgasm does
not have to be the end. Let it be the beginning of what your body wants at
that point. Remember that the more you learn about yourself in that way,
the more you can teach a man. And never assume that he knows or understands
until you teach him. Your sexuality is part of your womanliness. It comes
from within you, not from any man. |
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